Wordsmithing - Inspirations are manifold

Inspiration to word smith can come from many sources. My last word outburst was mostly inspired by feminism, politics and the current decline of the west into the middle ages.

I draw on my pagan roots and the elements when I write.

This time my ramblings are less pretty. I did not verse them in rhyme but I don't think they always have to be.

Inspiration has come from many places for this. My students, my friends, my recent tinder experience and the talks I had about this with others and even a person that inspired me to think about love again, as elusive as that might be.

This first piece I wrote for my student. A bright spark full of potential and energy and it broke my heart to see her down because of societies unrealistic beauty expectations that made this young women feel worthless because despite any achievements in her life, despite her brightness she felt worthless because she does not fit the size zero ideal.

Strength

In a world where women are still treated as objects.

Where our bodies are still scrutinized and appear to be there solely for the pleasure of others.

In a society that forces standards and expectations on us that are unachievable,

We must realise that we are UNIQUE and only have to please ourselves.

It is not always easy to stand up and swim against the tide but it is truly liberating!

We can let ourselves be washed away with the flow of the water, drowning in self loathing and worthlessness, trying to conform to absurd standards.

Or we can turn around and stand against the flood!

Facing down the oppression society lays on us!

Letting the waters wash over us untouched as they whisper their patriarchal mantras.

You are not successful enough

You are not slim enough

Your breasts are not big enough

Your skin is not light enough

You are worthless without a man by your side

Let it wash over you and laugh in its face.

Let it make you stronger as you redefine yourself.

I am a success because I am me and I am a better me every day

I am the shape I am and all of it is me

I am the shade and size I am and it is part of me like all else, I am unique

I am worthy in and of myself!

I am awesome,

I am fierce,

I am warrior women hear me roar!

I can finally see me now!

Stand against the tide and in time it will part for you as you are no longer touched by it.

Inspired by the two bright stars in my life, my sun and my moon, my ebb and flow, the two people my heart always resides with:

Always

If I tell you I miss you

I am not lonely or unhappy!

If I tell you I miss you it means

I am thinking of you

and I wish to share my life more with you.

Love unconditional

When I tell you I love you

I do not look for you to say the same

I tell you I love you, because

you are in my heart and thoughts

I tell you I love you, because

I want to let you know that you are treasured for who you are!

To my sun and moon

I miss you my love

I think of you every single day

You reside in my heart

You reside in my thoughts

So you are never far away!

Tinder inspired reflections on relationships, on patriarchal ideas of ownership and male/female interaction

No title

I don't need my partner to be my hero

I AM my own hero!

But I need one that got my back as I got theirs.

No title

Gee, learn to take a compliment!

Said no women ever to a guy after grabbing his bud in public.

My own hero

I don't need you to fight my battles

because I am the storm that uproots them all

I don't need you to be strong for me

because I am the rock that will not budge

I don't need you to protect me

because I am the tidal wave that swallows all

I don't need you to be my rage

because I am the fire that burns on

I need you to be the air that feeds the storm

so my force will be ever fierce

I need you to be the earth underneath me

so I stay steady in all to come

I need you to be the tide that moves me

so we move as one against prejudice and hate

I need you to be the fuel that feeds the fire

So my flame will never die

Garden

I am very much like a garden

with open path to tread

but try to touch the flowers planted

and they will cut you like a sword

In the centre there is a fountain

with water crystal clear

but drink from it uninvited

so potent poison it'll be

On the fountain's top perches a bird

it sings its song so sweetly

but try to catch it with your hands of greed

and the bird your eyes will peck

If you but admire the flowers

not for their beauty but their kind

their fragrance with engulf you

and leave you heady like wine

If you sit by the fountain waiting

until a cup is offered to you

you may drink your fill and be sated

as sweet nectar will flow for you

If you listen to the birds song with no expectations

and hold out your hand with patience

The bird may come and perch on you

for as long as your hand stays open.

The next few are inspired by a single person who is apparently occupying my my head and heart space. Some of it reflects feelings, others insights and discussions.

You

My soul sings out to you

although I do not know you

Can you hear the call?

The supple energies that draw you near?

Inner flame

Like Maat I weigh your heart against a feather

I weigh only that, which is you

I strip you of your outer layers

Your titles, your standing, your money, your prestige, your connections, your success and your failures

I examine your anger and hate

Your love and passions

I pierce your soul as I look into your eyes

I will draw out your vulnerabilities, your fears and anxieties.

Until there is nothing left but your essence

The flame within that never dies

This flame I take into my hands

I breath love and life into it

until it outshines the brightest star

Then I place it back inside

You do not hold onto stars or love

whether you helped unfurl it or not

but let them shine in their own right

Love is like freedom

you can not shackle or confine it.

Open

A heart appears a fragile thing

and each time it is broken

the wound takes longer yet to heal

but heal it will time and again

We wait till the scars are faded

before we allow others back in

pretending that all is mended and we are whole again

creating a picture of perfection for the whole world to see

But the scars remain regardless

so paint them in gold to flaunt

we are not perfect so why create illusions

each scar, each dent is part of us, so let us stop to pretend

If the heart is webbed with veins of gold

Try not to entomb it for that

A heart can be strong as a mountain

If you allow it to beat

Show the tears and fractures

make them your beauty marks

They show your strength and power

they are part of who you are

Now let yourself be fragile, open up that door

vulnerability and softness are nothing to be feared

a heart of steel is hard and heavy

no joy will ever touch it although it does not break

So let yourself be open

No joy comes without risk

and a soft heart my be broken

but a stone heart never lived.

No title

A picture of attraction

A word of affirmation

A voice of amiability

A thought of alignment

So near and yet so far

So familiar and yet unknown

So intimate and yet untouched

So solid and yet so fragile

What does it take to open a heart that has been broken

What does it take to establish trust where there is none

What does it take to create faith from words alone

What does it take to make them see I care

Take my hand

Pray tell me from the start

is there a chance I could win your heart?

I am open to you like a book

if you just dare to take a look.

Heart on my sleeve open and bare

letting you know how much I care

My words maybe spoken with light hearted cheek

that does not conclude they are shallow or weak

My heart may appear careless and free

but long has it been locked and I hid the key

Now I have unlocked my hearts door

and although afraid I hide no more

But however open I appear

it does not take away the fear.

I reach out my hand for you to take

the table turned a move you must make.

Until you do I will remain uncertain

always fretting you may draw the curtain.

My heart is fragile but I'm ready to give

all of me because that's how I live.
Just reach out your hand, let go of your fear
let me take you in and draw you near.

I want to engulf you with love and light

but you need to show me the way inside.

There are no guarantees for a happy ending

always there is a chance we both may need mending.

No joy comes without risk potential

but only love makes life exponential.

So take your chance and leap with me

let go of your chains, let your heart be free.

And then there are the random inspirations as always fueled by self reflection, the world at large and random thoughts and feelings

Awoken

Warrior goddess your spirit is the key

Strengthen out hearts and souls

be the fire that unites and makes us whole

Warrior goddess you have awoken in me

One

We are one people

you and me

united we must stand

and be the key

Hate & Fear

The streets run red with blood

as hearts run hot with hate

Fear and terror swallow us like the flood

The world is trembling awaiting it's fate

We are one

We are one people

and only one!

We are made of the same molecules

the same breath flows through our lungs

We are all made of blood and bone

with hearts and lungs and brains

Why is it then that outward appearance

creates in us the concept of OTHER?

We are all the same

We are but mere reflections of our divine spark

The universe made manifest

trying to figure itself out!

Rise up

Stand with your naked feed on the earth

Let fall from you your burdens and fears

Feel the heartbeat of the earth

Stomp your feet to it's drumbeat and shake out of your outer skin

Feel the wind in your hair as you dance

Let it surround you and lift you above the world of greed

Embrace the air current with heart and soul

Swirl in it's embrace and glide above the material world

Lift your hands to the sun in praise

Let it's heat burn from you all self-doubt and hate

Feel the warmth of it's fire invigorate your every cell

Be the fire and let it rise, let this be your dance of rebirth

Step into the river of liberation

Let it swallow all your emotion, all that drains you of life and love

Feel the graceful dance of ebb and flow as it sweeps you along

Rise and fall on its tide as it carries your soul to new shores

Step up for earth is your body

Rise up for air is your breath

Burn bright for fire is your spirit

Flow ever on for water is your blood

Lost

Standing at the crossroads

and the path is unclear

Standing at the crossroads

and the goal is nowhere near...

Wordsmithing - Women rising

It has been a long while since I word smithed.
Probably more than 10 years.
But recent events in the world, the way some of the leaders of the western world are trying to through us back into the middle ages. The fact that in 2017 we still do not have equality even in the so called 1st world countries has been bubbling beneath the surface of my skin for some time.

All of the below word out-pours have been fuled by this.



Women Rising

A fire storm rages in my heart and soul

A burning that can not be suppressed

as I yearn for the world to be as a whole

my fire is freed and no longer oppressed

A shadow has fallen across the the skies

Tendrils of darkness spread long and vile

as evil tongues spread hate through lies

the anger inside us rises like bile

Everywhere women are burning

Their spirits are rising as one

and we feel the world is a turning

we ready for the battle that must be won

The fire walks in our wake

Justice is demanded now and for all

as our shackles wear thin and break

no longer will we be meek and small

Burning times are upon us

Sisters gather their strength

and soon we will march on mass

for justice we go through any length

Burning women will light the way

Through word and blood and deed

we will fight for equality to rule the day

as into battle we lead

Our fire will dispel the shadow

We will turn the tide of hate

as justice and truth from the ashes will rise

since it's long been our fate

And so the fire ignites in every true heart

Burning out ignorance at the core

creating a new world of beauty and art

returning the earth to its original lore

Now is the time of fire

Now is the time of burning

Now is the time of transformation

A new world of peace will be returning!

I am the elements

I am fire and I am water

I am air and I am earth

I am the elements

Not ONE

But ALL

I am woman!

I am divine!

Elements stirring

I burn with the fire of creation
I ignite with desire and lust

I swim on the stream of emotion
I rinse away all shame and blame

I flow on the current of knowledge
I fly high on the wisdom of old

I dance to the heartbeat of the earth
I vibrate with the connection to the world


Women of the elements

I am women of fire 

         as I burn with the desire for justice and truth

I am woman of water 

         as I let fear flow of me like rain

I am women of air 

         as I fly to new horizons of my own ability

I am women of earth 

         as I awaken to the power within me!

Eternal Circle

I am the past and I remember
                       I remember my power
                       I remember my fall
                       I remember how I was silenced
                       I remember how the shackles burned
                       I remember they denied me
                       I remember they forgot me
I am the past and I know my way

I am the present and I live
                            I live in fear of my oppressors
                            I live in hope of a better tomorrow
                            I live for I feel the fire burning
                            I live for I hear the drums are calling
                            I live and know I am strong
                            I live and know I will rise
I am the present and I know times are a changing

I am the future and I will rise
                          I will rise as fire and burn the world
                          I will rise as the phoenix from the ashes
                          I will rise and light the way on the new path
                          I will rise and and ignite the flame of transformation
                          I will rise for the future is fe-male
                          I will rise for the earth is calling
I am the future and the fire of transformation is ME

I am eternal I was, I am, I will be
                     I was, I am, I will be power and strength
                     I was, I am, I will be Knowledge and wisdom
                     I was, I am, I will be the warrior of justice
                     I was, I am, I will be the goddess of unity
                     I was, I am, I will be who unites the world in love
                     I was, I am, I will be who spreads harmony throughout the world
I am eternal, I am the ebb and flow of time!
Returning, Returning, Returning


Flaming Path

Flames spring from the footprints of my feet,

they merrily dance with light and heat.

They show the path I've taken

as many minds awaken, 

and leave a trail of light,

that shines in darkness bright.

So all the souls that follow,

the shadows may not swallow.

And step by step and print by print

the path no longer is just a hint!

As soul by soul and mind by mind

the path is traveled by every kind.

Together we stand, right at the end

clasping each other firmly hand by hand.

Now our footprints burn so bright,

that no darkness can endure our light!

Together we rise and roar as one

united we find the battle is won!

Prayer to Kali

Jai Kali Ma
Great Kali, who burns like a fire within me
Inflamed with the justice you embody
Kali, who freed the world of the evil 
no other god could eradicate 
Your time has come again

Kali who is the deafening storm
Kali who is the raging flood
Kali who is the shaking earth
Kali who is the blazing fire
This is your time to rise again

May your spark ignite in everyone that calls for equality
May your fire burn bright in our hearts and souls
May your power give us the strength to follow your call
May you stand beside us as we face our fears
May you guide us in our dance for freedom

May your children rise as one and roar your name as a battle cry
May you lead us in the revolution of the oppressed
May the earth be soaked in the blood of the demons that hold our shackles
May their heads be added to your necklace of skulls
May you burn our shackles and set us free

May your true nature as protector of the world transpire to all
May your name be sung again with honor and love
May your name be celebrated in its 10000 forms
May we return to our true self as your light shines within us

May you restore order through chaos as you set the world a thunder
May the path be clear in the wake of your storm
May your flood wash out all ignorance and pettiness
May you crack the foundation of patriarchy to its core so we can build anew

May your principles be the foundation for a new society
May your gift of wisdom bind the world together in harmony
Oh Kali Ma may the new world be founded on justice and equality.

Hare Om tat sat

Women are rising

Personally, I have never acknowledged male power. 

Never accepted male authority. 

Never felt inferior to men. 

I have never given respect to men because of their gender or position alone or allowed them to dominate me. 

The idea of penis envy is alien to me. Never in my life did I wish to be anything but a women even though I knew the disadvantages that come with being female.
The concept that any women would want to exchange their intricate internal pluming system, their exquisite emotional chaos that lets us feel a multitude of emotions all at once, our direct line to creation to the divine itself, to life and death, for some soft dangling sausage has always puzzled me exceedingly. And despite the fact that I know, see and feel the oppression of the patriarchy I have never understood how that fragile male organ was to represent power or could hold power. 

There is nothing powerful about the penis, it is but a tool that requires the guidance of the feminine divine to be useful and whole.

In my opinion patriarchy has always been driven by fear, inferiority complexes and womb envy! 

The patriarchy enslaved women because it feared them, felt threatened by the power we held, the power that belongs to us and is coiled within us always. 

The power of women unbound is the most frightening thing to the patriarchal male as he does not understand, that an equal world will not diminish him but set him free.
True power and true freedom are concepts a patriarch fears! They are too close to chaos, they are not quantifiable, not measurable by science or in monetary terms, not equatable to worldly goods. The patriarchy wants to hold power, gather it in and confine and shape it. It likes to wield it like a sword, as it wields its penis, keeping what it perceives as enemies at bay. It likes to threaten and exert power over others, hold them down and confine them. And by doing so will never be able to grow.
It does not understand that true power is a dance in which we clasps hands with many partners and exchange and flow, rising and falling like an ocean weave. Patriarchy does not understand that true power has nothing to do with order, status or wealth but is found within. The spark of power, the divine flow, once ignited connects us all and is not quantifiable.

Patriarchs have not tried to solve the puzzle that we women represent or embrace our mysteries as part of the divine whole but decided to force the puzzle pieces into the shapes they could control. 

As people always fear that, which they can not understand. They decided to shackle women and bury their mysteries to be forgotten as they invented male supreme beings and made them the creators and women an afterthought, a slave to men and of men.

But life and death belongs to women. The eternal circle is embedded in us and so even though our goddesses were diminished, our law started to be forgotten, our mysteries were slipping into obscurity they could never be eradicated as we are intrinsically connected to them.

So men decided not just to control our bodies and physically dominate us but to invade our thoughts though the religions they imposed on us. And although women all have the connection to the divine they learned to reject that connection, to see it as dirty, to see it as impure. 

Women where told that our female organs of creation were only there as a vessel for male power and pleasure. And as time moved on women started to belief the lies told to them. They believed that female pleasure was a myth, that the female body was there to please, that the female mind was less, that women were below men always and that we were not divine.

However no oppression can last forever and women have torn and gnawed on their shackles, worn them thin and broke free. 

Women have given their life to be heard, to voice their beliefs, to encourage and guide others on the path to freedom. Because despite the constant brainwashing the fire within can not be extinguished. The spark burns in us all.

The divine spark that burns bright can not be denied.

Women have been burning everywhere for centuries. 

Kali is slowly stirring wake again and calls women to her!

Goddesses everywhere are waking from their slumber as their names are chanted, called and screamed again on women's lips and in women's hearts and souls. 

Kali's fire ignites us all. Her strength flows in our vanes and scorches those that will not heed the calling.
Women vibrate with the connection to the world.

But the patriarchy does not sleep either, it has become frightened again and lashes out with all it's might. 

The last century has seen its many attempts. From reinforcing stereotypes, to infiltrating the youth through stories of demure female princesses and male heroes, to magazines telling women how to look and act. Through media of all variations telling them to be for men and of men again. They have twisted that which women have fought for into the unrealistic ideals of perfect mother, career girl and sex icon all in one, leaving women no time to turn inside and find their spark. 

Through lad culture, rape culture, normalized sexism, pregnancy discrimination, age discrimination, constant attacks on our bodies, victim blaming they keep us small, insignificant and voiceless.

But burning women become more vocal and shout at the tops of their lungs to be heard, they unite in a war song as the fire spreads and lights in more hearts then ever before and so the patriarchal monster lashes out with all it got. To clasp the shackles tight again the patriarchy goes back to it's roots and once again tries to control us through our female organs, to enslave our bodies once more. 

Womb envy at its height as men desperately want that final say in creation.

And as in all last battles the monsters head rises for the final fight that it can not win. Ferocious it is. In its panic it tries not just to control women but to drown the world whole. 

As the demons of old would rather see the world burn to ashes, and them with it, than to give up their fragile power.

Alas we are burning women and we know that fire cleanses. We know that the phoenix can only rise as new once it has been burned to ash. We know we do not burn to take the power for ourselves, because how can you hold on to living flame, but we use the fire to transform the earth. We use the power to set us ALL free.

So embrace the fire within. Let it burn you and give you a voice. 

Make your song heard and pass the spark on until the whole world burns so we may rise from the ashes transformed and free of our shackles.

We burn and as the fire spreads we become beacons in the darkness, lighting the way to truth and equality. 

The sparks of knowledge are starting to spread across the world, igniting in ALL and making us aware of the fact that WE, as a people, will only survive if we transcend, if we become that which we should have been long ago: 

One people across all races, genders and societies.

We will never, never lose our way to the well of her memories and the power of her living flame it will rise, it will rise again.

Meeting Kali - a trip down memory lane

I am burning women, burning women that's me

The fire of Kali burns within me and my soul sings her name.

I am daughter of the goddess, I have always been, as we all are.

When I was but four years of age I talked to the moon

as that is where my grandmother had gone.

The sacred divine has always been feminine to me

the idea of a singular male god always struck me as a weird notion.

How can you define the divine as male when you can not even prove it's existence? 

How can you deny the female principle that is creation in itself?

And shouldn't the divine be beyond gender? 

And when we do turn to the divine should we not all call to the aspect of it that resonates with us? That reflects us?

I am of Kali, the warrior goddess who defeats all evil!

The destroyer of demons!

The force of truth and justice that establishes equality in the world.

This was no choice but a calling, a yearning 

and ultimately Kali's will 

to call me to her, her choice to free my soul though her fire.

I have called on many goddesses and I still do. 

Having a patron goddess does not exclude all others.It does not exclude the male divine either. 

I honor Hecate, Cerridwen, the Holler women, Percht, the Babajaga, Hel, Artemis, Maat, Sekhmet, Astrate,Tiamat, Ishtar, Innana, Durga. 

I call on mother earth, Gaia, grandmother sea, the ancestral spirits, the triple goddess and many more.

But always the ones closest to me where the queens of wisdom, the goddesses of witchcraft, the feminine divine of justice and truth, the pathfinders. The crones that that give guidance and test us, the grandmothers of darkness, the givers of death and life. The goddesses that walk alone.

So it is not surprising that Kali took me as hers when I visited her temple on my travels.

A visit firmly ingrained in my memory. 

A horrendous experience that made my flesh crawl. The crowdedness of the temple, the priest that leered at me and wanted to rip me off, the floors stained with blood and dirt on which I tread with my bare feet. 

The animal sacrifice I witnessed. The internal mantra I chanted “Must wash feet” until there was nothing else in my mind, the stench of death and dirt and blood and incense. The flow of power. 

My senses overwhelmed. That is how I encountered Kali for the first time.

Now I can almost hear her laugh as I revisit the memory of our first encounter. I do not agree with animal sacrifice, I prefer temples to be serene and clean, I seek the quiet and solitude you can find in temple gardens so it is sweet irony, which amuses Kali greatly, that I am now hers.  

But hers I am with body and soul. When a goddess steps into your life you can not deny her, or if you do you do so on your own peril. 

Jai Mata Kali!

Jai Kali Maa!

Om Kali Ma!

On the subject of fairy tales

Now this has been occupying my mind a lot as several of my friends have been sharing link about how fairy tales stigmatize women and how they are all about the boys being heroes.

Well now that is actually utter rubbish!

Admittedly when fairy tales where recorded on paper, like the Grimm brothers did, they had already been partially adjusted as they had been passed on from generation to generation to fit the Christianised patriarchal world and the collectors of stories certainly tweaked them some more to fit their current society. However many parts of the old magic and wisdom of those tales could not be entirely erased (or were left in on purpose just harder to find) and are still there in fragments if you know how to look for them. As for the illusion that it's the boys/men that are the heroes? Well that's the even more modernised 20's century story telling.

The real sleeping beauty had no prince fighting a dragon to claim her. Luckily Disney has been a bit more feminist in recent years but they certainly did their share of obscuring stories and twisting them into a more male dominated setting and they have to work hard to redeem themselves for it.

Now I do have the advantage to have grown up in the country where most of those (in)famous fairy tales where originally collected or at least published for the first time and hence grew up with less diluted versions of the stories so let me share my few of some.

Let us look at some of the most popular tales of the damsel in distress and what it is really about (in my humble opinion).

Sleeping Beauty:

Sleeping beauty's story was never about her or the prince that claimed her but about the king and his arrogance of attempting to set aside the old ways without any heed for the consequences. Instead of using the 13 silver plates, associated with the moon, the lunar year and the old wisdom and female power, the king decided to use 12 golden plate, associated with the sun, the solar calender, the 12 Apostles and the christianised new world.

The king went on to not just randomly exclude one of the 13 fairies but choose to exclude the one he deemed of least interest to him and his new world that represented the darker aspects of life, reflection and death and her gift would have been the spinning wheel, the tool of old that almost all goddesses of life and death posses, The weaving of life’s tapestry starts with the thread. But the king decided his girl would not need to learn to spin, such a common and degrading task does not befit the daughter of a king.

So at the birthday feast of the little princess when the 13^th Fairy storms in and curses the child she is righteously angry. It is not an attack on the small infant but on the king and his arrogant ways. The princess is also not alone affected in this curse but only the catalyst. 100 years of sleep shall befall her and all the castle inhabitants on her 16^th birthday as she pricks her finger on the needle of a spinning wheel. A great thorny hedge shall spring up around the castle to protect it while it sleeps (all of them, the girl, the king, the queen, the cook, the stable boy etc). No person shall be able to cross it.

So of cause the king sets out to bring about his own doom. Destroying all the spinning wheels destroyed also a great deal of industry in his country. So his country grows poorer and poorer over the years as no fabrics are made or sold and all those important goods have to be imported from other places. In other words the kind destroyed his whole power base by crippling his economy.

Of cause the curse can not be evaded and the princess does become the catalyst by pricking her finger on the day of her birthday.

So the whole castle is put to sleep for 100 years. There is no once the right guy comes along he gets the princess, no dragon to fight no it's purely time based. In those 100 years time goes on outside the castle walls, where will the king be king after he wakes up? His lands will have long gone to his neighbouring kingdoms and so the king will have lost his throne in all but name by the time the curse looses it's potency.

The whole story is about teaching us that you can't disregard old wisdom on a whim without having to face the consequences. So our damsel in distress is really of little importance by herself and only significant in her role as catalyst for the events around her just as her prince is no hero but only a lucky sod that happened to be in the right place at the right time. The only thing that could be said about the prince is that he might have been a decent guy as he went with no expectations into the castle. After all man tried for a 100 years not believing that the hedge could not be crossed and then eventually giving it up as lunacy to try. All the rapist, bounty hunters, grave robbers, power seekers had tried themselves in the previous 100 years and the hedge defied them and killed them so no one would try any more regardless of the imagined riches.

So yes the princess and the prince get their wedding but the king has lost his power and all he has to give now is his daughter and that is taken as well by a foreign prince. The kingdom is dissolved even though it's never quite put that way in the story.

Snow White:

Now what about Snow White? Another damsel in distress. No here we have the fore rider for the all demure female, the acceptance of the role the patriachat lays on us.

Here we do have again the struggle between old female power and the male run world. This is to me is the more distressing story as it shows the new worlds victory. It shows the battle between old magic and new piety. Snow whites step mother is a matriarchal female that takes her female power as a given and is hence villainized.

Snow white itself is what the new world wants a female to be like, beautiful, helpless, gentle, soft only known for her beauty and piety. So not only does she inflame dislike in the new queen for not being her own flesh and blood but also because she has been brought up in the new world to be this sorry little excuse for a female.

Now we see the queens attempts on killing snow white as evil and gruesome but we might also argue that it is her attempt to groom Snow White into her own power. It is the shamanistic journey of trials that most heroes have to pass through. Alas snow white fails badly or is hindered by the well wishing men, which ever take you wish to take on this.

With each trial it is a men that help her, “rescue” her out of the precarious situation. It is the hunter who will not take her heart because he pities the girl and he can not find it in him to destroy such beauty, it is one of the dwarfs each time the queen assails her first by cutting her corset and then removing the poisoned comb. The piece of apple is not magically dislodged by the princes kiss but is dislodged as the dwarfs stumble on the uneven ground and drop the casket.

To me this story shows clearly how the initiation rituals into female power fail and how the protagonist accepts her new role as the helpless women. Although it could be argued that the rituals are forcefully taken from her. As she submits to each trial willingly but before transformation can take effect, which often accures through precieved death and it's journey through it into life once more, she never gets that chance as there are always men to “rescue” her from becoming more.

In some stories it ends with her marring the prince but in some we find one further humiliation of the feminine by inviting the queen to the wedding feast and giving her magic dance slippers so she has to dance until exhausting claims her and she dies.

If we assume that snow white wished to follow the path of initiation into power it is a gruesome story as we see how the now all powerful male strips each rite away from her. If we see her as the pies girl she outwardly betrays then the story is the more gruesome as we have women set against women. The old power of feminine wisdom and magic against the helpless sweetness the male dominated age presses us into.

The more ironic as snow white is a child of the old magic, called with blood in prayer to the old gods.

Cinderella:

Another story of the damsel in distress is of cause Cinderella

I never understood how the modern betrayal of this story with a fairy god mother creating a carriage out of a pumpkin ever enticed girls to love it.

But this Disney version has been accepted as so common that the old one is hardly known. Here is the shocker there was no fairy!

When Cinderella's mother died she and her father planted a tree over her grave so part of her soul may always stay with them.

When the father remarried also in hope to provide his child with another female role model he may not have chosen wisely. Then again it has to be understood that Cinderella as the first born and with no male siblings would have been the one to inherit the estate and nothing would come to her step mother or her step mothers two daughters of a previous marriage.

Of cause the step mother looks out for her own children and being aware that both her daughters are neither bright nor particularly beautiful she must hope to somehow marry them off well if she does not want them to live on the street one day.

Now this is a story deeply entrenched in old magic. Once Cinderella is put to work in the kitchens for the first time in her life learning hardship and understanding the workings of the different social shifts. (yes yes we see her as a nice and good girl however she has been brought up as the lone heir of a large estate that she knew anything of kitchen work or washing laundry is to be doubted, even more so as the father undoubtedly doted on her after the mothers death).

Seeing and understanding the needs, wishes and hopes of the common people is an initiation putting good principles into practice. It's an initiation journey grooming her to be a good ruler over her estate or in the stories case the country.

Now as the princes ball nears (by the by note that it's actually the prince being sold off as a price, yes he may choose from many but he is still made to marry and put up as a price piece of meat) of cause her step mother does not wish her to go, that would completely eradicate her daughters chances. So she sets the impossible task to sort a bowl of lentils that she throws on the floor.

Here Cinderella gets her first help from the birds that she feeds, that see her go about her daily tasks with good cheer despite her actual station, helping to sort them out into good ones and bad ones.

She then visits the grave of her mother to lament that she may not go to the ball. So a bird in the tree speaks to her that if it is really her wish to go she may shake the tree and says the magic words so her wish will be granted. So on each of the three nights (3 being an important number, maiden, mother crone) she goes to the tree and says the magic words and each time she is given a dress more magnificent then before ranging from the gentle greens and whites of spring, to the red and gold of summer to silver and blue of the years end. So she bedazzles the prince with the magic colours of the earth to the point that the prince only sees the power of the magic but not the women behind it. He sees the unearthly beauty of female divine, of all the phases of life.

Hence he is left with the task to find her with only her slipper as a guide. Now both sisters are told to cut of her big toe and her heel respectively to fit into the shoe just for the price to find on his way home to the castle that the birds tell him that the bleeding girl on his horse can't be the right one. Some have argued that the blood in the shoe is indicative of menstrual blood and that the two virgin sisters can't be his bride therefore. (3 balls over three weeks on the 4^th week the prince comes looking I can see the point).

In any case it is the princes magic initiation into the story as spirit guides help him find the women he is supposed to marry. They help him recognise that the demure female he carries each time is not the wild women he danced with.

Cinderella in her turn waits to see if he will still come for her when she is not dressed in the glamour of the old magic, in unearthly beauty, if he can see past it and will still take her as she is then he might deserve to have her.

There are lessons for both to learn. As counties were not ruled by the supreme power of men alone but with the council and advise of a women of the old ways and here we are with both parties being tested. But all that gets swept under the carpet as Disney glorifies the ball gown, the non existent pumpkin and the shoes.

Rapunzel:

This leads to another damsel in distress Rapunzel

The most misunderstood story of all.

All we ever hear of it is bad witch kidnaps young girl and prince comes in to rescue her. Again this is not a story about him at all. As so often as you must have seen the prince is really just the dude that happens to traps along more by chance then anything else.

Rapunzel was not kidnapped but bargained. When Rapunzels natural mother was pregnant she had such a longing for the Rapunzels (commonly known now as field salad) in the garden of her neighbour that her husband would steal them for her, even though the next door women was known to be a wise women, a witch a magi.

So once the wise women came across the thief she chided him but let him proceed in exchange for the daughter that would be born to them (this is not a stealing of the child but a fostering arrangement). As the child was fed by her magic salad so the child would be hers to be brought up in her ways.

Becoming a wise women was an honour not a curse back in the old days so the couple agreed to it and the child was left with the parents for a year and a day or sometimes longer before coming into the custody of the wise women.

The removal to the tower is symbol for the removal from society. As with all sages, saints and wise people, magicians in stories true study will only ever be from one teacher/guide to one student and so for the cycle of three times 7 years (often years are not specified but it is only said that Rapunzel grew to full womanhood as she stayed in the tower) Rapunzel was taught in the ways of the wise women.

I mean really what did you think a witch would do with a small girl for 21 years? Why go through this fuss just to lock her up? That does seem silly, does it not?

So Rapunzel was taught in the magic of the earth, the healing and the songs of the birds, she would have been initiated into the female mysteries of life and death, of birth and motherhood, she would learn to read the stars, interpret the skies, read the fire, she would learn about the moon and the sun, the properties of water. Now a teacher can only teach you so much before one has to go out into the world and learn for themselves. So the prince that falls for Rapunzel, this women that is so different from all others he has ever encountered, one that brims with power and knowledge has to be made his. You could say that Rapunzel has been cunningly set up or the prince for that matter so he may have a bride that knows the old ways.

After all the wise women was never intend on keeping the girl forever, as we all have to let go eventually. So she cuts Rapunzel's hair and put her out of the tower and as the prince climbs up to “free” his bride the wise women unties the hair and drops the prince in the bushes where he losses his eye sight.

Here his initiation starts. He stumbles for a long time coming to terms with his loss of power till Rapunzel eventually finds him and with her tears heals his sightless eyes. Another magic not of virginal purity but of old magic as the prince learns to see the world through her eyes making him a better person to rule his kingdom. So Rapunzel continues to learn her magic of air and speech of perception and illusion as she advises her husband at court.

What about others? 

Now what about all those beautiful stories that we do not hear about all the time. What about the many girls and boys that go out on their shamanic journey without wearing ball gowns and crowns?

No fairy tale was ever about the happy ever after it was always about the learning process, the journey, the knowledge attained, the bettering of ones person, the harmony with nature, the heeding the advise of the old wisdom and sometimes about sacrifice.

In so many fairy tales it is the girl that goes out and undergoes initiation in the old ways (The Holler women being a great example or Vasili and Baba Jaga) or she goes out to redeem her wayward brothers/lovers through trial and sacrifice (brother and sister, the 6 swans or the 7 ravens). It is about the youngest son who does not impress by wining the day through heroic deeds of fighting ability or some other “manly” nonsense that the modern world praises but wins his battles against all odd by listening to the old women, the fairies the spirit guides on his way (the 3 feathers, queen bee, puss in boots).

It is about the ones that listen, that endure, that change, that embrace the wisdom and the unusual, that think outside the box who make their luck.

And then we have the fairy tales that are about folly and greed like the ever full pot of porridge, Tischlein deck dich, The man and the fish and many more. Few tales are actually about women or men per say but about the journey a person must undergo.

Alas in the last century only the tales with the apparent happily ever after with princes and princesses get prestige. And most of those fairy tales have been brushed up to be more Christian more patriachal in appearance, some have been downright made into battle fields for the new ways of male dominance but if you look closely at the stories (not the Disney versions with all the life sucked out of them or modern rewrites that just miss the point completely) you will find a whole new world of symbolism and wisdom.

The original stories themselves should not be condemned as sexist as they still brim with magic and wisdom of old but the retelling them in these horrendous misogynistic ways that is what needs to be fought. We should not disregard to old tales but reclaim them. rewrite them ourselves as they ought to be.

When we are enraged about the modern way the above stories in particular are betrayed as damsel in distress tales it is also interesting to note when these initiates into female power were being transformed to purely demure figures (most potently by the mega company Disney 1937 Snow White, 1950 Cinderella, 1959 Sleeping beauty).When women in America won the vote for the female sex in the 20's many men believed that's it, what more could they want. But the vote was the first mile stone so as women became more vocal about equality and gaining momentum. So it could be argued that retelling stories in a more acceptable way for the male run world was a cunning attack right at the core of the new generation. Give young girls demure, pretty, homely figures as heroines that end up with a rich husband and a castle. Just a thought.

The Path

Today my thoughts course around loneliness and the path we follow.

I am single. That's not to lament it, it is just a statement. I am happy to be single and it is of my choosing. I am not just saying this to make myself feel better it's not a I can't find a man/women so I will just buck up and say I'm fine. It has become a conscious decision.

Some people are just not meant to partner up in the traditional way and that is just fine. Some people are too committed to their own path that they know there is no space for another person or that it would be too selfish to drag someone else along on ones own path. This does not mean one always travels alone sometimes for a short time paths may cross or run parallel but those are finite encounters.

In order to build a unit of two or more you do have to sacrifice/compromise a lot and anyone who says otherwise either lives with rose coloured glasses, does not realise what their partner sacrifices for them or just talks utter hogwash. To find two people that follow the exact same path is neigh to impossible so of cause we have to compromise. And even if we started of on a path that seems the same we often find over time that we were just on a path that happens to run parallel for a while with the other persons. We came to this stretch of the path from different directions and inevitably our paths will eventually diverge again. Now that parallel stretch might last for a few month or even years, sometimes even decades when we think the paths may actually have merged but in the end we walk in our own shoes not our partners and the road we trod is ours alone. Like the life thread that is being spun and made into the tapestry we call existence no thread is the same. Realising this however is sometimes not easy and sometimes even painful.

Now sometimes we choose to abandon our own path for the sake of being with our partner, or maybe because the other path looks more shiny and bright and comfortable. And lets face it, is it not so much easier to just let go of our own path and choose to follow someone else’s? We can see/feel how our path shifts under us when we leave it behind. We feel how it would take us into a new direction but then we stop. Just stop, standing still and it feels like we hoped onto the other path following the footsteps of another. Like a shadow. It might be a nice path, we may even enjoy the road but it is never our path and deep down we know it. Our own road is still there. Lying there behind us in the distance, growing more and more dim as time goes on but it is our path and hence will never wink out of existence whether we travel it or not.

Some people work hard on it to try and merge their paths and make it a single glorious road. This is an epic task as both partners have to chisel and lay bricks one by one in uniton to ensure the path is composed evenly. It is rare and momentously wonderful when something like this happens.

Now it is possible to be determined enough to be happy on another’s path, to make their path our path, and this illusion may last a long time but at some point we will all find that restlessness that urge that we have missed something that we meant to be somewhere, do something.

Of cause it is not just the wish to partner up that may cause us to be on a different path then we ought to be. Oh no the indoctrination from early childhood of what we should want from life and what is important has brainwashed so many of us to such an extend that we try to follow this manufactured path, equating happiness with success and money, with procreation and societal standing, just to find that despite all of this we are feeling something is missing.

Now modern men/women have managed to try fill this black hole in our existence with all sorts of meaningless entertainment and ways to spend our oh so important money. But it's a black hole there is no filling it.

So often we find ourself at some stage of our life feeling lost, lonely and out of place. This is the time of change. As we often do not know why we are lost, lonely and out of place this can have devastating consequences such as depression, addiction, break downs, or just leaving everything out of the blue without knowing what to do next or headlong crash-landing into a new exiting union with another person or project.

Being alone/solitary/single/isolated/by yourself/a recluse has all been associated with loneliness, which has become a horrid word in our society. If you are solitary you must be unhappy. If you are a single unit you must wish to be with someone. If you are a recluse you must be missing out. Finding the lid that fits the pot, finding the yang to your yin and so on seems the most important thing. But if we look at all the enlightened beings, the sages, the saints, the wise women they stand alone. Yogis move into the mountains away from society, Buddha sat under a tree, Baba Jaga lives alone in her house on chicken legs.

Being on ones own is not loneliness.

As to be with one's self is to be fully whole. We are in ourselves connected to all and everything and some wise people that wish to explore this connection remove themselves from society because being in society is just too much, there is just too much going on as that one could focus on the millions of connections we have with everything around us. The others distract from our soul searching as we are reflected in all and everything and finding oneself in a room full of mirrors is a tedious task.

The life thread that is spun for us is spun from the substance of all existence, from the essence of the universe that we all come from, the molecules that make up a persons body also make up the universe itself. So although our threads are woven in different ways, some threads are shorter then others, some longer, some thicker, some thinner, some bright and some dull the origin is the same just as our paths all start from the same dark place between time and space, before our essence/soul enters the womb of our host.

Actual loneliness comes when we lose the awareness of the origin, when we see ourselves just as the sum of societies making as smoke and mirrors as the roads not taken.

We can be lonely in a whole room full of people, we can be lonely even when sitting among our loved ones, we can be lonely when we lie in the arms of our partner and we can be lonely even when we perform our daily work interacting with people and smiling while doing so. Loneliness is not the disconnection from the other but the disconnection from self. When one is lonely a hug or heartfelt conversation with your best friend can be a great comfort but in the end it does not change the loneliness inside. Loneliness to me is not being alone, solitaire, isolated it means being without me. The loss of self connection is connected to our path or more precisely the loss of our way. If one has travelled so long on another’s path or on side roads that look like our own or on the road that we think should be ours then ultimately one will be lost without seeing the way back to one's own self.

I lost my way

I can't see the road in front of me

I do not know which way to go

I am walking in circles

I have come of the road and now can't find the way back to it

I do not know where I stand

There are no signs any more I can not see where the path leads

So how do we get back? How do we reconnect with the self?

Through isolation, through solitude, though alone time! Being alone with oneself is important. It is the only time when we can not run away from the self. I do not mean take a book and sit in your bed (that's a wonderful past time but it's not alone time). Alone time is meditation. Not meditation in the sense of empty your mind and chant aum (which again is a great thing but not what you need to find your path again).

It means time to yourself to analyse yourself and your life without judgement. It's not to go through your life and say well yes I wish I hadn't dated that idiot in high-school, or I wish I had studied a different subject or chosen another job. It's not wallowing in the present telling yourself that everything is just rubbish and will never get better. The past is past there is nothing you can do about it. However the past has brought you to the junction of the here and now and exact NOW is where you start. The rest of your life starts now, not yesterday and tomorrow either!

So get to know you, the person you have become and see if that person is essentially still you. It is acknowledging your mistakes and d-tours without regret and let them fall away, clearing the debris from your path. It is taking the broomstick and clearing the way till you see the path again that is buried under all the dead leaves of the seasons past. It is coming to terms with the fact that change can only happen from you, no one else is going to do it for you and accepting it. If the person you have become is someone you do not like you must face her/him and unravel the person to her/his core like unstitching a gown awry cross stitch pattern. It does not mean you have to change overnight by a 180 degree (for some that works but for most it does not) it means making small but gradual changes. It means brushing away the remaining leaves on the path one step at a time.

It is asking yourself regardless of age be you 30, 40, 50, 60 or anywhere above, below or in between, whether you are single, married, widowed, divorced, with kids or without what do you want for yourself and from yourself. Not what society tells you you want, not the essentials of a roof over the head and food on the table (which I know is certainly a priority) but what fulfills you? What makes your inner being hum.

Now do not mistake the inner journey I am talking about with finding your eternal happiness. Happiness is a funny term as we often do not know when we are happy until it's past and also because happy to us is the opposite of sad, the opposite of crying, the opposite of being down. But being elated, singing and laughing all day long really sounds quite exhausting, does it not?

I am talking about finding that which makes you tick.

Find your path again by looking into yourself. What passions have fallen by the wayside? Are you still passionate about the same things and just have not had the time or have just forgotten about them? Then pick them up again. Make time for them. (don't have time? Really? Then ask yourself what is more important that the house is utterly dust free, that you hoover every day, that you watch that certain tv each day? Really? Or is it more important to find out who you are?) What makes you burn? What ignites you? What elates you? What makes you feel yourself? or go deeper and ask what is self that one may blow your mind!

Find the thing or things that engage you so that the whole body resonates with it. The something that lets you dissolve yourself into it, fuse with it and become it. This might be walking in nature, writing, engaging in debates, recycling, inventing, dancing, gardening, constructing, welding, carving, drawing, singing etc.

Once you find THAT then see how it will help you on your way. How can you make it a greater part of your life? Can you share it online or off line? Can you teach it? Can you do it with your family or as a group of friends or strangers? Can you cross it into other realms of your daily life? Does it connect to other things?

Live YOUR life NOW. Give yourself lone time, explore yourself and find out who your are and who you want to be for yourself.